Posts tagged abusive relationship
What Domestic Violence Taught Me About the Importance of Self Care

“The most monumental bit of self-care: I had to learn to love myself. Prior to making that 911 call, if someone asked me if I loved myself, I would have said yes. But I didn’t, not truly. Someone that loves herself would not allow herself to be in near-constant emotional pain, sometimes physical pain, because of another person…”

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No More Cool Girl BS For Me

“As a woman, in my first serious, and only relationship up to that point, I had an unfailing drive to just ‘make it work.’ That meant ignoring red flags and warning signs and forging on with determination to hunker down and be the best girlfriend in the world. (Whatever that meant.) Surely he would appreciate me then, once I was perfect…”

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On Forgiveness/Letting Go: Revisiting a Painful Relationship Years Later

“He changed as soon as we married; he had it in his mind that marriage meant he owned me. I lived with him and his family and never had a voice of my own. There were cultural boundaries, but the worst of it was his emotional and physical abuse toward me. At the time, I felt I had nowhere to go…”

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I Know That There’s a Word For What Happened To Me: On Defining Sexual Assault

“I could have said no. I should have said no. But I knew what he would become if I did. I knew how the pleading would turn into threats and how quickly his respect would dissolve into fury. I had seen him angry before; I had cleaned up broken glass and taped posters back on walls…”

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What Do I Call It If I Don't Know If It's Abuse?

“Losing your virginity on cold cement is just as bad as it sounds. When he came (maybe 5 minutes later), he asked me if I came too. I looked at the ghostly-white slimy puddle of cum on the cement next to me and his soft dick and said, “Yeah, I did” even though I didn’t, and wasn’t even sure what that would have been like…”

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The Emotional Economics of Forgiveness

“Years later, it’s difficult for me to tell my current husband that I love him.  It’s difficult to wring out the vulnerability required to engage in emotional intimacy.  The experience of being in love with a socially inept pathological liar, who once held a revolver to his head as he sat in bed beside me, will do exactly that…”

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